Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Modern Love: Part One

One of the pillars of modern society, The New York Times, asks about love today.

Three years ago we invited college students to tell us the truth about what love was like for them in this age of 24/7 communication, blurred gender roles and new attitudes about sex and dating. The response, from students at more than 365 colleges and universities nationwide, was overwhelming and eye opening.

So we’re asking again.
If you have a personal story that illustrates the current state of love and relationships...

No longer a spry undergrad, I'm ineligible to enter the contest. But it did get me thinking about the subject.

Although home computers were popular since I was in junior high - I feel painfully dated right now - I didn't have regular access to one until late high school. I often took important assignments to friends' homes to use their word processors (remember those?), or eventually, the internet. In fact, one of the first times I really recall surfing the internet, my good friend and I may have been looking for risque pictures of David Duchvony. It wasn't until my maybe sophomore year of high school that I used a computer to communicate with a love interest.

Until a few weeks ago, Matt and I weren't even really in a relationship, until it had been declared on Facebook. And then the "likes" and comments began rolling in from those who knew about our meeting before the internet did.

One of the very first conversations the two of us had was entirely online. It was day two(ish) and we spent roughly five hours on instant messenger getting to know one another. Occupation. Favorite movies. Exchanging stories. Avoiding mentions of exes. Both pretty hopeful about the prospect of having met someone we actually liked. As someone who doesn't really like the phone, I think it would have been more difficult for me to connect to him had it not been for that marathon computer conversation. I certainly don't doubt that we would have - a spark of something was obvious from the get-go - but technology allowed me to feel more comfortable telling him - on day two after our meeting - that I definitely wanted to be married and have children. Had I said that in-person, on a first date, it may have come across as a little, um, scary. Not that I haven't been that girl before. Take it from me that its much better received when -- a). the thought has crossed the other person's mind, too... and b). when he already kinda likes you.